I Love Me, I Love Me Not

I vacillate through life regarding myself alternately with loathing and pride. It’s a see-saw of self-deprecation and self-adoration: I love me, I love me not.

Ugliness spews forth from my mouth like fire from a dragon, and I mentally flagellate myself like some kind of ancient monk. I write something I’m particularly proud of, and I’m a modern-day Steinbeck. I regard the effects of time and gravity in the mirror, and my mood goes into limbo mode. I do something for the cause of Christ, and suddenly I’m Mother Teresa.

What’s a healthy balance of loving yourself? Is loving yourself even biblical? The short answer: yes.

The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. – Leviticus 19:34

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. – James 2:8

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28

God expects us to love ourselves. We are, after all, His prize creation created in His own image. To fail to love ourselves is to look with disdain upon the Lord Himself.

However, the world has twisted the concept of loving ourselves. Some (think communists) look upon loving themselves as innately evil; some (think Ayn Rand) view loving themselves as elemental. But we need to find a balance in the see-saw of self-loathing and self-worship.

Clearly from the above Scriptures, the Lord puts a high value on loving ourselves. He not only recognizes it as an unavoidable reality but he actually promotes it. You are doing right when you love someone as you love yourself. That’s not a wrong thing.

The wrong thing is to elevate yourself above others. Jesus shows us the right way.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. – Philippians 2:3-7

If anyone had a reason to lord Himself over others, it was the Lord Himself. But He didn’t. He was born in a manger. He had nowhere to lay His head. He washed feet. He ate with sinners. He died for sinners.

Yet He knew who He was. 

The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When He comes, He will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you — I am He.” – John 4:25-26

“I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” – John 14:6

So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?” “Yes, it is as you say,” Jesus replied.” – Luke 23:3

It was not pride that led Jesus to acknowledge His glory and His position in the godhead. It was simply fact. He did not elevate Himself; He allowed the other members of the godhead – the Father and the Holy Spirit – to do that on His behalf. That is true humility, the kind that willingly surrenders itself for the good of others.

False humility comes in some beguiling disguises. Self-consciousness, for instance, is self-absorption by a different name, just as self-confidence is self-idolatry. Any time we put self first in any way, God loses His proper place in our lives regardless of whether appearances portray us as self-debasing or self-elevating.

If I am to love as God loves, then I must love myself. But I also must see myself through a biblical filter – a human crafted from dust, a sinner saved by grace. Yes, I must love me. But I must love others more. And I must love Him most.

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